Still here…

No fun/inspirational quotes today.  Simply because I am not feeling fun or inspirational.

Had an appointment with the midwife yesterday.  And then came home and spent most of the afternoon/evening crying.  I remain on bed rest.  She also informed me that, since I am expecting a boy, there’s no way an induction will be done before at least 39 weeks, unless something goes wrong.  I am 36 weeks today.

I’ve been on bed rest since May 7th.  Two and a half weeks doesn’t sound like much, until you spend 90% of it in bed.  And add in that you are going to spend three to four more in the same spot.  I’ve been trying really hard to keep my spirits up but it is so hard.  Knowing how much is not getting done in the house, how difficult it is on the Hubs and D-man.  Plus considering the upcoming move and having no idea when it is going to take place or how I’m going to get everything done for it.  Knowing that the Hubs and I will be spending our first wedding anniversary sitting in bed watching crappy tv.  I just feel like I am failing my family. 

My husband has been 110% amazing through all of this.  He’s cooking, cleaning, taking care of the dog and the kid, not to mention me, plus working.  And hasn’t complained a bit.  But I can tell he is getting overwhelmed and stressed out.  I just wish there was something I could do to make it better.  Anything I could do to make his life easier right now.  Instead, I complain about stuff that is not getting done and make him feel worse.  I don’t know what I’d do without him and I don’t know why he puts up with me.

I’m just trying really hard to find ways to keep my sanity through the next few weeks.  This weekend is going to be hard, with Memorial Day.  The guys will be heading out for some outdoors and family time while I stay here all alone.  I’m being very good about the situation because I don’t want them to feel guilty about going.  Truth is, I’ve been crying about it, off and on, all day.  But as long as I don’t let them see that, I’ve done my job.

Counting down to my due date, we are down to 28 days to go!  Here’s hoping we don’t make it to day zero.  I want my baby here!!!


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